How can I support my child?
Children and young people who witness and experience domestic abuse perpetrated and experienced by the adults around them, are classed as victims of abuse in their own right, by law.
- Create opportunities for a safe environment
- Safety plan: Develop a safety plan with your child, including safe places to go and emergency contacts. Making a safety plan / Safety Planning with Children
- Secure home: try to make your home is as safe as possible, with secure locks and a plan for emergencies. Ask a practitioner to refer you to the SAFER Scheme.
- Provide emotional support
- Listen and validate: Let your child express their feelings and validate their emotions. Reassure them that the abuse is not their fault.
- Consistent routine: Maintain a consistent daily routine to provide a sense of stability and normalcy.
Supporting a child or young person affected by domestic abuse can be challenging, but there are several ways parents/carers can help the child feel safe and supported.
- Seek professional help
- Mentoring services: Consider mentoring services for your child to help them process their experiences and emotions.
- Support groups: Look for support groups for children who have experienced domestic abuse.
- Online Resources: Victim support information: Support and next steps.
- Educate and empower
- Teach safety skills: Educate your child about how to stay safe and who to contact in an emergency.
- Empowerment: Encourage your child to participate in activities that build their confidence and self-esteem.
Things to remember
1
Self-Care:
Ensure you are also taking care of your own emotional and physical well-being.
2
You’re Not Alone:
There are many resources and professionals available to help you and your child.
3
Stay Patient:
Healing takes time, and your consistent support is crucial.
Worried about a young person’s romantic relationship?
It is completely normal to feel concerned about your adolescent’s romantic relationships. Talking to your young person about their relationship can be delicate.
Ways to support
Read more about Ways to support- Educate About Healthy Relationships: Teach your adolescent about the qualities of a healthy relationship, such as mutual respect, consent, trust, and communication. Help them recognise signs of unhealthy or abusive relationships.
- Encourage Balance: Help your teen find a balance between their relationship and other aspects of their life, such as school, hobbies, and friendships. This can prevent them from becoming too absorbed in the relationship.
- Promote Self-Worth: Encourage your young person to value themselves and their own needs. Help them understand that they deserve to be treated with respect and kindness in any relationship.
- Open Communication: Encourage open and honest conversations with your adolescent. Let them know they can talk to you about their feelings and experiences without fear of judgment.
- Set Boundaries: Discuss and establish clear boundaries and expectations regarding dating.
- Seek Professional Help if Needed: If you are concerned about your adolescent’s safety consider seeking help from a statutory service such as Social Care or Police.
When speaking to your adolescent about their relationship
Read more about When speaking to your adolescent about their relationship- Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a comfortable and private setting where you can talk without interruptions. Avoid bringing up the topic during a heated moment or when either of you is stressed.
- Be Open and Non-Judgmental: Start the conversation with an open mind and a non-judgmental attitude. Let your young persom know that you are there to listen and support them, not to criticise or control them.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage your adolescent to share their thoughts and feelings by asking open-ended questions. For example, “How do you feel about your relationship?” or “What do you like most about your partner?”
- Listen Actively: Pay close attention to what your young person is saying. Show that you are listening by nodding, making eye contact, and responding thoughtfully. Avoid interrupting or offering solutions too quickly.
- Share Your Concerns Calmly: If you have specific concerns, express them calmly and clearly. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory, such as “I feel worried when you come home late” instead of “You always come home late.”
- Offer Guidance, Not Orders: Provide advice and guidance based on your own experiences and knowledge, but avoid giving orders or ultimatums. Encourage your adolescent to think critically about their relationship and make their own decisions.
- Reaffirm Your Support: Let your young person know that you are there for them, no matter what. Reassure them that they can come to you with any problems or questions they might have.
After support, I understood my anger better and could notice it sooner.
I also learned to be kinder to myself when I felt angry. I don’t get as angry as often anymore, and when I do, I know how to handle it better. My mum says I seem happier now and that I’m doing better at school too.
Alex
Adolescent to parent violence
- Sometimes, adolescents can be violent towards their parents, siblings, or carers. This can happen for many reasons, like seeing violence at home, having a tough time, parenting styles, in times of conflict, in traumatic or stressful situations, or dealing with mental health or drug problems. Sometimes, there’s no clear reason.
- Adolescents might say they’re violent because they’re stressed, angry, or frustrated, or they might blame others. But it’s important to remember that being violent is never okay, and the person being violent is always responsible for their actions.
- You don’t need to know why it’s happening to make things better. Even small changes can help. Teenagers can’t stop being violent on their own, but with help from others, they can change.