Recovery
‘Recovering from domestic abuse is a deeply personal and often challenging journey. You may experience a wide range of emotions, from fear and confusion to relief and hope. It’s ok.
You made brave choices to leave an abusive relationship. Starting over can feel overwhelming, but it is a new beginning towards a safe life free from abuse.
Recovery involves creating a safe environment where you can heal and rediscover your sense of self. This might mean finding a new place to live, building a support network of trusted friends and professionals, or engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
There will be ups and downs – recovery is not a straight line. Be patient and kind with yourself. Celebrate each small step along the way.
Things to remember to help your recovery
- Safety planning:
always prioritise your physical and emotional safety and the safety of your dependents. Develop a safety plan and consider legal protections if necessary. - Regaining confidence:
rebuild your self-esteem and confidence. Celebrate your strengths and achievements, no matter how small. Engage in activities that make you feel empowered and capable. - Prioritise your mental health:
healing emotionally and mentally is crucial. Consider seeking therapy or counselling to help process your experiences and develop coping strategies. - Building a support network:
connecting with trusted friends, family, or support groups can provide emotional support and practical assistance such as with dependents.
- Self-care:
take time to care for yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones. Emotional Safety Plans: what they are, and how to use them - Education:
learning about the dynamics of domestic abuse and recovery can empower you and help you make informed decisions. - Moving forward:
focus on building a new life. Set small, achievable goals and take steps towards them. Surround yourself with positive influences. - Hope for the future:
believe in the possibility of a brighter, safer future. Recovery opens the door to new opportunities and a life where you can thrive.
Self-care tips and ways to feel more like yourself
Here are some steps to help you feel more like yourself and practice self-care during your recovery from domestic abuse:
Seek support
Read more about Seek supportConnect with supportive friends, family, or support groups. Sharing your experiences and receiving encouragement can be incredibly healing.
Practice self-compassion
Read more about Practice self-compassionBe kind to yourself. Recognise that recovery is a journey with ups and downs, and it’s okay to take things at your own pace.
Acknowledge your emotions
Read more about Acknowledge your emotionsAllow yourself to feel and express your emotions. Journaling or talking to a trusted friend can help you process your feelings.
Set boundaries
Read more about Set boundariesProtect your time and energy by setting clear boundaries with others. It’s okay to say no to things that don’t serve your well-being.
Create a safe and healing environment
Read more about Create a safe and healing environmentEnsure your living space is safe and comforting. Surround yourself with items that bring you peace and joy, such as plants, artwork, or cozy blankets.
Establish a routine
Read more about Establish a routineHaving a daily routine can provide structure and a sense of normality. Include activities that you enjoy and that support your well-being.
Engage in physical activity
Read more about Engage in physical activityRegular exercise can boost your mood and energy levels. Find an activity you enjoy, whether it’s walking, dancing, swimming, or a sport.
Reconnect with hobbies
Read more about Reconnect with hobbiesRediscover activities that you love or try new ones. Creative outlets like painting, writing, or playing music can be particularly therapeutic.
Remember, each step you take towards self-care and healing brings you closer to feeling like yourself again. You are strong and capable and can rebuild your life.
It's teaching yourself not to self-blame.
There are people, places, groups, and support out there. You’re not alone.
Enola
Impact on mental health
Domestic abuse has profound and far-reaching effects on the mental health of survivors, impacting their recovery in numerous ways.
- Anxiety Disorders: you could experience heightened anxiety, including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic attacks, and social anxiety. This constant state of worry and fear can make it difficult to feel safe and secure.
- Depression: the trauma and emotional pain from abuse can lead to persistent sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities. Depression can also cause physical symptoms like fatigue and changes in appetite.
- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): you could suffer from PTSD, characterised by intrusive memories, flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, and emotional numbness. These symptoms can severely disrupt daily life and relationships.
- Low self-esteem: abusive people often wear down the survivor’s self-esteem, leading to feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt. This can hinder your ability to form healthy relationships and move forward
in the future. - Substance abuse: you might turn to substances such as alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism, which
can provide temporary relief. However this often worsens mental health issues and can lead to
additional problems. - In a crisis: you can call 111 and press option 2 for free crisis mental health support – your phone will connect even without credit.
Effects on recovery
The mental health impacts of domestic abuse can make it challenging for survivors.
1
Emotional regulation
it can be difficult for you to regulate your emotions, leading to mood swings and difficulty managing stress.
2
Trust issues
you may struggle to trust others, making it hard to form supportive relationships that are crucial
for recovery.
3
Isolation
the fear and anxiety associated with domestic abuse can lead to social withdrawal and isolation, reducing access to support networks and resources.
4
Difficulty in daily functioning
symptoms of PTSD and depression can interfere with daily activities, making it hard to maintain routines, work, or care for dependents.
5
Reluctance to seek help
low self-esteem and feelings of shame could prevent you from seeking help, whether from mental health professionals, support groups, or legal services.
6
Physical health
mental health issues can also affect physical health, leading to chronic pain, sleep disturbances, and other health problems that complicate recovery.
Suicide and domestic abuse
Read more about Suicide and domestic abuseUnderstanding the link between domestic abuse and suicide is crucial for survivors. A recent report highlights that more victims of domestic abuse take their own lives than are killed by their abusers. This tragic reality highlights the severe mental and emotional toll that abuse can inflict. Victims often face overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and despair, combined with the physical and psychological abuse they endure.
It’s essential to recognise these risks and seek support to address suicidal thoughts and feelings. Creating a comprehensive safety plan that includes measures to protect against suicide, alongside protection from the abuser, can be a vital step in recovery. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, and there are resources available to support you.
30%
of all suspected suicides in Kent and Medway were impacted by domestic abuse (NSPA, 2021)
84%
of respondents support working to recognise the mental health impact of abuse (KMDAP Strategy, 2023)
Support options
Recovery from domestic abuse is a complex and ongoing process, but with the right support and resources, you can rebuild your life and find hope for the future.
Group work
Across Kent & Medway there specialist domestic abuse services run groups, you’ll meet other people who have had similar experiences and explore abuse and healing together.
Talking therapies
Talking therapies are free, confidential and designed to help with common mental health problems such as stress, anxiety and depression. If you need support then you can self-refer today.
Take a course with Bloom
Bloom informs and empowers survivors by offering remote courses that combine insights on trauma and gender-based violence with therapeutic practices to help heal from trauma.
Release the pressure
Talk to a highly trained and experienced team available 24/7 to provide expert support no matter what you are going through.
Supporting children
Find information to help children and young people to understand what domestic abuse is, how it might affect them, and where they can find support.
Age-appropriate resources
Tools and age-appropriate resources to help practitioners identify, support, and safeguard children and young people affected by abuse.
Finding support near you
We know asking for help isn’t easy, but our expert services can help keep you safe and help you and your children process what has happened. Support in Kent and Medway is free and confidential.
Recognising the experts
Survivor Voice Ambassadors
Our Kent and Medway Survivor Voice Ambassadors are people who have personally experienced domestic abuse and are dedicated to advocating for change to support others.
Through their involvement in developing projects, policies, training, and best practices, they help shape services to better meet the needs of survivors.
Thank you to our Survivor Voice Ambassadors for allowing their stories to be told throughout the website. If you have lived experience of domestic abuse and would like to become a Survivor Voice Ambassador, please contact us at: daprojects@kent.gov.uk